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There can be a miracle when you believe!

A. was ten when her life brutally changed and what had been her whole world until that moment exploded into one billion pieces.
The sky suddenly lost its colours and the dark became a place full of pain and shame.
At first she didn't understand. It hurt. So badly. She couldn't help crying but he yelled at her to shut up otherwise he would beat her and he would tell everything to her mother.
A. loved her mum so much and she didn't want anything hurting her , she didn't want to disappoint her. "That would be their special secret", he said....
A. was so scared ... so scared.... she closed her eyes...swallowed her own tears...and waited for the end....
A. didn't think to be able to smile again, to play again with her friends and sisters, to feel desires and hopes....but children can adapt theirselves to any situation...children can survive...they learn to go on ....in spite of everything...perhaps it's only spirit of survival.
A. grew up. She was eighteen when she decided to go away from home and her nightmare brought to an end.
A. did never say anything to her mother about what had happened in all those years.
A. was glad 'cause she had managed to keep that "special secret": nobody knew so nobody would become disgusted with her.
A. found out a job. She found some "friends" but they didn't know her. Not at all.
A. tried to "be normal", she tried to live but soon she realized it was too hard.
It was so painful living sometimes and she often thought that it would be wonderful not suffering anymore.
A's life became slowly a solitary place.
She had her books, her PC, her movies and her dreams.
A. loves her dreams because , in there, she can be another person, a fantastic person, a person beloved and cherished and happy.
A. has known a new pain lately. She suffered so so much...nevertheless she feels free now.
A. feels herself free to cry now, free to look at herself in the mirror and she doesn't avert her eyes. Anymore.
A. is learning now.
She has just found new friends....true friends.
She's learning to talk aloud. She's learning to take off that mask she built long time ago.
A. is learning to look at the sky. Again.
Maybe one day the sky will recover its colours.
Maybe one day A.'s heart will be rekindled.
Maybe there can be a miracle when you believe. Maybe.
Tomorrow it'll be A.'s birthday.
Happy Birthday A.

Comments

( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
clocks
Feb. 26th, 2008 10:23 pm (UTC)
*HUGS*

All I can say is that you are an amazingly, unbelievably strong person. Don't let anyone else tell you otherwise. Don't let anyone take that from you.

What you've gone through would destroy anyone's life. But you got through it, and what's more, you came out on the other end as a really wonderful person.

Tomorrow's your birthday? :) Hmmmn, let's see what I have inside my bag of tricks!
shegollum
Feb. 26th, 2008 11:13 pm (UTC)
You made me cry! I am so blown away by you and your open heart and how you've pulled through so, so much. To come to know you and learn how you've been so strong and held so much inside for so long yet remained the sweet soul that you are says a whole, whole lot, you know. I want you to think about that (I know, I know...I get all lecture-y *g*) and let yourself feel it and know it. That is a special thing. YOU are special and I adore you. *HUGE birthday hugs!*

irrlicht74
Feb. 27th, 2008 08:29 am (UTC)
Usually I'm not bad with words, but right now they elude me. I can't believe you've gone through all this and are still sane. I'm pretty sure, I most probably would've taken the "easy" way out, so to say. I'm more than amazed by your strength and consideration (regarding others) and your willpower. I'd have given up long ago, and I'm very glad you didn't, so we could meet. Happy birthday, hon! *hugs*
mooms
Feb. 27th, 2008 03:19 pm (UTC)
You made me cry too. But as the others have said, you are a strong and special person. Happy birthday *hugs*
ribby
Feb. 27th, 2008 05:26 pm (UTC)
You made me sniffle with this, Anto--you're an amazingly strong and wonderful person. And a truly lovely one, as well.

Happy birthday, sweetie! *big hugs and kisses*

~Kris
( 5 comments — Leave a comment )

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anthos65
anthos65

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