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I'm back. After a long time. Many things happened to me in all this time. 
My mother died.  
My life has been a mess again.
Years of hard efforts to survive vanished.
The past and its load of pain and fear is back. 
I'm trying my best....but it's not enough...by the look of it
My sisters think I'm losing my grip on reality...maybe they're right...
It feels as if the night would never end
I'm trying ...but I seem not to be able to...
Every breath is so painful
My sisters think I should go into hospital ( a mental hospital)
Maybe they're right...maybe it would be better for them...for me...for all of us
I know they're scared ...
Sometimes it looks as though I'm invisible....I  see the others, I hear their voices ....but  they can't see me, they can't hear my cries.....as if I'm transparent...
I'm writing now.
I don't know if anyone will "hear" me......
I'm screaming

Comments

( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
mooms
Feb. 11th, 2008 10:46 pm (UTC)
I am so sorry about the loss of your mother and that you are having such a rough time since. I do hear you and am sorry that all I can do for you is give you a virtual hug and assure you that I am thinking of you.*hugs*
bean4me
Feb. 12th, 2008 09:43 am (UTC)
Oh dear Anthos. I too wish I could do more for you than just words and a virtual hug. You pour so much into your LJ that I know you cherished your mother and are devastated at her loss. My mother and I are very close and I'll probably feel the same way. Please take care of yourself and email me any time.
govi20
Feb. 12th, 2008 07:03 pm (UTC)
I am so sorry dear, I know all to well how it feels to loose your mother (and father btw)I think it;s the ultimate way in becoming an adult, realizing you're no one's child anymore. Like the others say, not much we can do but listen to you. *hugs*
clocks
Feb. 13th, 2008 06:22 pm (UTC)
I'm really sorry for all the difficulties you're going through now :( All I can do is offer you a hug, and that you ARE strong enough to get through all this.

*HUG*
foxrafer
Feb. 24th, 2008 11:43 am (UTC)
I hope seeing these responses gives you strength. We all hear you, we all care. Imagine tons of positive thoughts and support coming from all over the world because that's what's happening. This community is full of incredible people and your flist is here for you always.
( 5 comments — Leave a comment )

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anthos65
anthos65

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